Ok, I need something happy.

Yep.  These will work!

Reflections... Collin Worland

The whole point of this blog is to talk about happy things.  But right now I am anything but.  It is weird how something can just hit you upside the head.

Today, a 13 year old boy was hit on his way to school and killed.  I heard about it through out the day, but I have been sick in bed for the last few days and I wasn't really paying much attention.  Tonight, during the 10 o'clock news I was watching.  They interviewed the mom & I looked up.  She looked SO familiar!  She looked like someone I went to highschool with.  I knew her name, I knew it HAD to be her.  The news didn't show her name so I used my DVR & hit rewind, fast forward... you guessed it.  There she was, talking about the son she lost just hours earlier.

Rewind 13 years.  It was Sunday, Brian and I were in The Dixie College married ward, and I was watching her and her new baby.  I am pretty sure there were more babies than just Collin.  But he is honestly the only one I can remember.  He was a boy.  I was having a boy.  I was in awe of him.  And her.  I couldn't believe that someone that close to my age could already be a mom, and here I was.  Almost there.  She was wonderwoman.  If my memory serves me correctly, she had him at home on purpose with just a midwife.  It seemed like she could do anything!  I was all about nursing my baby, I hadn't ever seen anyone do it.  I don't think our chapel had a mother's lounge.  (We moved to a family ward a month before Christian was born)  if it did, she didn't use it.  She would quietly nurse her baby in sacrament meeting.  She was always covered, always discreet.  Everytime someone gets up to leave to nurse their baby, I always think of her.  She made it motherly and natural, not disgusting or odd.

Now, here in the present... my son is in bed.  And hers is gone.  And all I can think about is how lucky I am and how sad I am for her.  I think of all the drama that comes with being a mom of a teenager with moodswings and hormones (it isn't just the girls) and I just want to hold him.  I tried to hug him today.  He pulled away.  So I tried to hug him again.  He pulled away.  FINE.  So I decided that he was going to let me hold him.  And I told him so.  And he did.  He pretended to hate it, but I know in my Mommy Heart that he was glad he let me. 

A fund has been set up to help with funeral expenses.  I have a whopping 8 followers (I know, I am practically famous!) But please look into your heart and give what you can for Collin's Family.  Be thankful for your children and your other loved ones.  Don't take a single day for granted.  I love my family.  I love my friends, I love all 8 of my follwers (I'm not even sure I know who they all are)

Let's Try this again!

There is a blog, my most favorite, most AMAZING blog ever! It is called Better After, and it is all the work of many talented men and women who have taken junky things and repurposed or reinvented them.  It is all before and after photos and stories.  A few days ago, I sent a before and after photo of a chair I reupholstered... AND Lindsay featured me! I can't even tell you how excited I was!  It totally made my life!  Her blog is such an inspiration to me and I find myself checking it periodically throughout the day!

Now, I have decided to get my talents to work for me and I am trying to re-do furniture to sell so that I can finally decorate my living room the way I want it.  I have fallen in love with this fabric design from Robert Allen & Dwell Studio I have been stalking the online fabric stores since apparently none of the stores in my area stock it... not sleeping at night.  It has been rough!  Then, my neighbor tells me that she has an old Ethan Allen wood frame couch that she is going to give to the DI I haven't even seen it & I am already in LOVE!  Hopefully I'll be able to post pics of it soon... BEFORE & AFTER!

Anyway, a few weeks ago I was in Oregon with my BFF's Kriss & Shauna when I found this FABULOUS lamp set! There are two... here's one of them Before...

And now....

For

the

AFTER!

Yup... My living room is going to look FABULOUS when it's all done!

Sorry I missed you!

I COMPLETELY forgot what my username was for blogger.  I had to make a new gmail address to start it, but I didn't remember and since I also run a blog for our business, Point Emblems, I was automatically signed in with my business email....Silly girl!

Anyway, other than having kids that are feeling at odds with each other and themselves, things around here are good.

Brian and I spent a week in Florida a week ago, and man was it COLD!  We packed for nice 72 degree weather, but what we found was....28!  I don't have my camera card in my laptop right now, so I'll have to post pictures later and just give you little info bit by bit.

One thing I thought would be cool to blog about is my "bucket list"  I'm not sure if I'll have time to do this every day, but I will definitely get better than I have been.

Anyway, just a  quick hello, and I'm still alive.  TTFN!

Random

Today was a good day.  Usually I spend Sunday morning out in the hall with Kellan, but today we made it through all of our meetings!  It was amazing!  I just wish the entire day was focused on Christmas and the birth of Christ.  We had a great sacrament meeting, lots of Christmas music!  Nothing like a Christmas song to feel the holiday spirit!

My abs are SO SORE!  I worked them like Thursday, and they seem to hurt more and more everyday!  I did good though.  I have a goal in my head of how much I want to do on a daily basis and from the time I decided to do it, I completed it.  I am taking the weekend off of exercise, but I did watch what I was eating & how much.





I have to keep pushing myself on a daily basis so I can get back to feeling good about myself.  I know that trying to look like I did when I got married may be a little out there (I had just turned 18).  I am just going to keep trying.  My patriarcial blessing says that we keep right on trying to be the best that we can be, but we never really know when we get there, so we keep trying and pushing forward.  I like that.  


I truly believe that you can get as good as you can be, but when you continue to try, you become even better.

Please Stay Motivated!

This February I have to renew my drivers license.  That means a new picture and they want me to write my weight down....I lied last time and I don't even look close to the weight...I'd have to be 4' tall to have the weight match my face.

This time, I want to write down my weight....and have it be accurate and not be embarrassed by it.  I have a magic 10 pounds that I consistently loose and gain all the time.  It is getting old!

We have had a treadmill for a very long time... at least 6 years, but I don't think it has more than one week's worth of use on it.    My tv is right next to the treadmill and I've found that if I turn it towards the treadmill and use my earbuds, I can block out all family noise and just veg...while walking on an incline.  Last night I committed to one hour or two miles.  I ended up doing 2.25 miles while my FABULOUS husband made dinner.  Once it was done, I gave in and ended a few minutes early...but I did get my 2 miles!

Today, I wondered if I could get 3 miles in.  I got on my treadmill, turned my headphones on, and walked to the tv.  There were times when I decided to run, maintaining my incline.  I like to just walk on the treadmill, but maintain the incline so I can turn my attention elsewhere (So I'm not concentrating on how much I HATE what I'm doing.) but burn a decent amount of calories.  For now, this will have to work.  I'm hoping that what everyone else says is true and I will eventually start liking exercise.  For now, I'll fake it and watch endless hours of Law & Order while I walk mindlessly uphill.

Someday, I'll look like I did on my wedding day...But if I could just get to a reasonable weight by my 31st birthday, I'll be content.

I am ALIVE!

Ok, so I have been a little busy.  But life is good.  I got Christmas shopping done, I've been looking at baby pictures of my kids again, always dangerous....but don't worry I'm good.  I just thought I'd do a quick post, I don't have much time...

Maui January 2002

Kellan 3 months

Yes, that's my Strawberry Shortcake  dress!

Brian and I in college, 13 years ago.

Kellan has been talking more than normal, repeating what we say, he'll be ready to bear his testimony soon. :)

He yells "A" for Aidan, says "Bay-ee" for Bailey, "Ma!" for mom, and "Ma!" for dad!